


Breathe Deeper

by kristsune



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Blood, Canon Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, There was only one cot, Zolf Smith/Oscar Wilde (implied) - Freeform, and absolutely does not let other people (or himself) know he has them, barnes has no idea what feelings are, because its just hinted at, i didnt feel good about it being in the ship tag, its all I do, j/k y'all know im all about the soft, mission gone awry, oh no its all gone soft, please enjoy, right up until he realizes he has them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:14:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23956681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristsune/pseuds/kristsune
Summary: Carter gets injured on a mission, Barnes realizes some things after seeing him hurt.
Relationships: Commander Barnes/Howard Carter (Rusty Quill Gaming)
Comments: 32
Kudos: 75





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [felineladyy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/felineladyy/gifts).



> Thank you to everyone on the SS Carnes and Barter. This is a good ship, and we are full sail ahead. Extra shout out to the first mate felineladyy who's enthusiasm really put the wind in these sails for me <3 
> 
> Title is from the Tame Impala song with the same name. I listened to this album a lot while writing, highkey suggest listening to it <3

Barnes couldn’t understand why he felt so conflicted around Howard Carter. They had been working together for a while now, after Wilde had caught Carter escaping from prison for the  _ third _ time, he finally convinced him to join their ranks. And for how frustrating, and insufferable, and perfectly ordinary in his style choices were, he  _ was _ actually rather good at what he did. They hadn’t encountered a lock he couldn’t unpick, was extremely good at deciphering coded messages, and could throw a knife with surprising accuracy. 

He found himself admiring and appreciating Carter’s skill more and more after each mission, and Barnes was annoyed with himself for it. But it wasn’t that he  _ liked _ him. The man was intolerable. He just appreciated his skill, as a thief, a colleague, a work associate. 

Currently they were on a mission together, trying to gather intel from a locked safe that belonged to some high up Meritocrat whose name didn’t matter, because they were dead anyway, lost to blue veins, but unfortunately no one else knew that. But if they could get their contact list, it would help them greatly in figuring out who else was compromised. 

Barnes was watching Carter’s six when he heard his little sigh of pleasure when the lock popped open. Barnes couldn’t help but be impressed, Carter had said it was known to be a tricky one, but he still got it unlocked in under a couple minutes. 

Carter had checked for traps before he unlocked, and took the extra minute to check again now. With the muffled swearing that followed, Barnes assumed he had found one. Barnes didn’t bother asking about it because A, he knew Carter would start complaining loudly if he did, and B, he seemed to work better, when Barnes just rested a simple reassuring hand against his upper back. It worked like a charm, yet again, as Carter took a deep breath, and quickly had the trap disabled. 

After that, all it took was nicking whatever paperwork they could find, and tucking it into their bag of holding. They almost made it to the exit point without being seen. It hadn’t been their fault they were spotted, it was just a simple case of bad luck. 

Carter had been on point, and at a corner he checked on Barnes behind him. Before Barnes could say anything like: “What are you waiting for?” or “What are you doing?” Carter’s eyes just went wide, yelling “Duck!” as he shoved Barnes’ shoulder down with one hand, and pulled a throwing knife with the other so fast Barnes wasn’t even sure he saw where it came from. 

Barnes twirled around in a crouch, his sword at the ready, but he hadn’t been needed. The unlucky bloke that had been behind them, already had a knife through the eye, and was in the process of falling over backwards. 

He couldn’t help but be more than a little impressed. His appreciation for Carter’s skill kicking up another notch. “Damn, Carter. Nice throw.” Barnes was surprised by the lack of response, usually Carter was the first to exclaim when he achieved something so dramatic. He turned to look up at him, only to see Carter with a look of shock on his face, and an arrow through his shoulder.

Carter looked down at Barnes, and mumbled a soft, “Ow,” before his legs crumpled from under him. Barnes had to drop his sword to catch him. He was no healer, but he had some basic knowledge of first aid; triage and the like. He took a quick look, the shaft went straight through, and it was just sitting there nestled between his collarbone and shoulder. Carter moaned softly when Barnes moved him enough to look at the back, when he noticed something other than Carter’s blood  _ too much blood, why was there so much blood  _ on the arrowhead. 

Fuck.

Poison. 

“Alright Carter, I’m gonna get you out of here. Just. Hold on for me, yeah?” Carter only made a soft whimper in reply, but Barnes took it as a good sign. He was still breathing, hopefully… hopefully the poison wasn’t too fast acting. He could still get him back to Zolf. Zolf could fix this. If they had a healing potion this wouldn’t be an issue right now, but their last shipment of supplies hadn’t come in yet. Damn things were too difficult to get a hold of right now.

He quickly sheathed his sword, and started speaking softly to Carter, “I’m going to pick you up. It’s going to hurt, but I’m going to get you out of here.” Barnes didn’t wait for a reply, hefting Carter into his arms headless of the blood. He winced at Carter’s soft groan, but it was honestly distressingly quiet, well, quiet for Carter anyway. 

It wasn’t far to the pick up point. Einstein would be waiting for them to teleport them back to Japan. Luckily, the one guard they ran into seemed to have been a fluke, and everything else went off like they had initially planned. Barnes made it to the treeline without further problems, but he could feel Carter’s blood soaking through his jacket, and Barnes was sure he was starting to hear a slight wheeze. If the arrow nicked his lung, this was going to be even closer than he thought.

Barnes found the quiet unsettling, normally he’d be listening to Carter go on and on about something or other, or he’d be asking questions, or... whatever he was always talking about. He found he couldn’t quite stand it, so he started talking to Carter instead. “Come on Carter, you can make it. Just… stay with me okay? Don’t go leaving me. I’ll have to be paired with Zolf on missions. He still holds a grudge from when I court marshaled him, you can’t leave me to that.”

When Barnes got to where they were supposed to meet up, Einstein wasn’t anywhere in sight. “Einstein? Einstein! Where are you?” He very specifically ignored the way his voice was pitched higher, and how fast his heart was racing. Einstein was supposed to stay here. Where in the _ bloody hell  _ was he?!

“Hello!”

Barnes would have jumped out of his skin at the  _ fwoop _ sound, and soft puff of air when Einstein teleported in; if Carter hadn’t been cradled in his arms, his head tucked against his shoulder, breathing getting shallower by the moment.

“Where  _ were _ you?!” 

“Right here.”

“No, you weren’t”

“Well I was, and then I wasn’t, but then I was again. It really wasn’t all that long, if you consider how long time is. Which is not something I’ve done in a while. Time doesn’t really make sens-”

“Not now, Einstein, Carter’s hurt, we need to get to Zolf.”

“You know, I was wondering why you were carrying him. Seemed like an odd choice, but I’m not one to judge, maybe he just wanted to be carried.”

“Einstein.  _ Now _ .”

“What?! Oh, yes! Yes of course.” 

Einstein placed his hand on Barnes shoulder, and with another  _ fwoop _ and a weird, brief indescribable sensation, they were in the pouring rain, within sight of the inn.

Barnes started off immediately, throwing a quick, “Thanks, Einstein, should probably head back to Curie,” over his shoulder

“Sure, thing! Hope Carter’s alright.” Einstein yelled after him, before teleporting away.

“Yeah, me too.” Barnes whispered, looking down at Carter’s still, but breathing form. 

Barnes kicked at the door when he got to it. He couldn’t easily open it, and just barging into the inn when both Zolf and Wilde were in residence was a good way to get killed. Those two were  _ extremely _ protective of each other, having bonded over too many losses, and shared tragedies to count by this point. 

Zolf opened the door in his pants, his glaive already lit, and at the ready. Barnes cut straight to the point, he had never been one for preamble anyway, “Carter’s hurt. I know we need to go into quarantine, but he’s been poisoned as well as shot, and it can’t wait.”

Zolf looked back, and Barnes could just see Wilde in one of the local housecoats, or whatever they were called, with a stony expression. Which, wasn’t any different than usual when they came back from a mission, but if Wilde hesistated any longer, Barnes was going to  _ scream _ . He thought he was keeping his expression neutral, but something must have shown, because Wilde finally nodded, it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds, but it felt like forever. Einstein might have been right with that time thing. 

“Bring him down to the basement. Zolf can heal him, then you bring him into the cell with you to recover.

“Oscar -” Zolf attempted to interject, but Wilde just held up his hand.

“No, Zolf. You can heal him, but we aren’t risking him up here. There is a cot there, and you can make sure they have everything they need for him to heal properly.”

Zolf ushered him in, and Barnes made his way down stairs, trying to be as careful with Carter as he could. When he got to the bottom of the stairs he gently laid Carter down, but leaning his upper body against himself, so the arrow would be jostled as little as possible. Carter whimpered slightly, but otherwise didn't even stir. Barnes gently swept Carter’s wet hair off his forehead as Zolf started to check him over as best he could without touching him. 

“Alright, the arrow is gonna have to come out before I can heal him, but I should be able to heal him just fine once we do that. Now, I’m going to need you to pull the arrow out for me. It is going to hurt him, but it will be over quick. Barnes, do you think you can do that for me?

Barnes managed to take his eyes off of Carter’s face to look at Zolf, “Yes, I-I think so. I’ve seen... similar done before.”

Zolf had a look of sympathy in his eyes that Barnes couldn’t quite parse, but nodded anyway. He had Barnes tear his shirt away, and tip Carter onto his side so he had easier access to the arrowhead, “Okay, now you’re just gonna snap this off, then pull it out real quick, and then I’ll heal him as fast as I can, so he loses as little blood as possible.”

Barnes nodded, grasping the shaft of the arrow. He took a deep breath before he snapped, and  _ yanked _ the shaft through Carter’s shoulder. Carter gave a cry of agony, and it felt like Barnes was having sympathy pain in his own chest hearing it. He didn’t like hearing Howard in pain  _ at all _ , never mind the fact that  _ he _ caused it. He was used to hearing a startled shout, or exaggerated yelp when he or Zolf threw something at him, or smacked him with a stave during exercises, but this was different. This was real pain, something he didn’t deserve. 

Barnes tossed the arrow aside, while Zolf held his hands just a few inches over the wound on either side, concentrating intently, a soft white glow emanating from his hands for only a few moments. As soon as he was done Howard relaxed, and his breathing seemed easier, less labored. Barnes finally felt like he was able to breathe again, himself. 

As soon as Zolf left to grab them some supplies and a change of shirts, Barnes gently picked up the still unconscious Howard to bring him into the cell, whispering, “I’m sorry, Howard,” as he deposited him onto the cot. Barnes was sorry for so many things, sorry for allowing him to get hurt in the first place, sorry for not treating him better, sorry for having to cause him even more pain. 

Zolf came back with the supplies shortly after and rather than jostling Howard more than he already had while removing the remains of his shirt, Barnes just took the soft blanket Zolf brought and pulled it up over Howard’s chest, allowing himself a brief gentle touch along the new raw scar on Howard’s shoulder.

Barnes quickly changed out of his own blood stained shirt, heart twisting again at how close everything had been. The thought of losing Howard like that struck him right to his core in a way he had never expected. He sat in the chair he had placed near Howard’s head, leaned back against the wall, and wasn’t even surprised when he felt the first tears fall. He allowed himself to cry silently with one hand resting on the edge of the cot until he slowly felt himself drift off, vowing to himself that he would do everything in his power to make sure Howard wouldn’t get hurt again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carter's garbled memories of being shot, and dealing with the aftermath with Barnes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently I needed to write a second chapter, because these two idiots wouldn't leave me alone.
> 
> Sidenote: i made very specific choices for Carter's inner monologue, please do not @ me about grammar/punctuation.

Howard could sense Barnes behind him the entire route out of the mansion, ever since he placed that steadying hand on his back while opening the safe. Barnes both steadied him, and got under his skin at the same time. How he managed to be so competent  _ and _ hot, but also so stoic at the same time was beyond him, but Howard appreciated it anyway. Even if his back tingled where Barnes touch had been, like electricity sparked under his skin. 

He couldn’t stand it anymore, and had to turn around to check on him; unfortunately rather than just seeing Barnes’ pretty face, Howard saw an arrow pointed directly at the middle of his back. The next thing he knew he was on the floor, shoulder screaming in pain, and a weird hot, burning sensation radiating outwards from that same point.

But then Barnes’ arms were around him, and he was talking softly to him, and that.. that felt nice, even if everything else was pain, and fire, racing through him. At least Barnes wasn’t hurt. That was good to know, he would have looked wretched with an arrow in his back. Granted, it turned out, having one in the shoulder kind of sucked too. 

Howard’s eyes felt so  _ heavy _ , he just wanted to sleep, so he did. Well, kind of. He remembered snatches of Barnes talking softly, saying something like “don’t go leaving me” but that couldn’t be right. Barnes would never say that. Even a declaration as simple as that was showing too much emotion. But still, it was nice to pretend, and Barnes’ shoulder was so nice to rest against, and he was so careful of his arrow, barely jostled it at all, at least of what Howard could remember, and he felt like he would remember something like that, because it hurt… a lot. And that burning heat was spreading, and his chest was starting to feel heavy, and it was getting difficult to breathe, and Howard didn’t like it at all, so he buried his face against Barnes’ chest and hoped it would all just go away. 

He couldn’t remember much else, except the disappointment of losing Barnes’ steadying arms around him. Then he was being jostled around, and he really would have liked that to stop, so he could sleep. And then,  _ and then _ , there was unimaginable pain, and he just wished Barnes would hold him again. It felt safer there, even with the arrow through his shoulder. 

As soon as the intense pain arrived, it went away, reduced to a dull ache, and a thick drowsiness overcame him, and he remembered nothing more. 

\-------

Howard opened his eyes, and took a minute to get his bearings. He felt like shit, damp stagnant air, rough hewn stone ceiling and walls, Barnes’ hand resting just out of reach on the cot, dull ache in his shoulder...

Wait,  _ what _ ?

Howard shifted his gaze, following said hand as it pulled away to sit awkwardly in Barnes’ lap. Howard looked up to his face, and he thought  _ he _ felt like shit; Barnes looked  _ terrible _ . Howard had no idea how long he had been out of it, but it looked like Barnes hadn’t slept at all in that time. 

Before he could even get a word out, Barnes asked, audible worry in his voice, “Howard, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” 

Howard just lay there, and blinked up at him. He was pretty sure he had only gotten hit with an arrow, not gotten a concussion. Did he hit his head? He couldn’t remember doing that, but he figured that’s exactly what he would think if he  _ had _ conked himself in the head. But Barnes? Showing emotion? About him?? Maybe this was all just a fever dream, and Zolf hadn’t even healed him yet. 

No. 

No. This was real, because Barnes was showing emotion, but only Howard could recognize it as such. Almost no one else would recognize the way his forehead wrinkled with worry, and where the recent tear tracks (Barnes? Crying??) were a bit more obvious, the way his hand twitched like when he wanted to reach for his sword but it was towards him instead was not. Not to mention Barnes  _ used his first name _ . Which was... new.

“You look like shit.”

Way to go Howard. Really just, put it out there; say what you mean.

Barnes’ lip twitched with the smallest smile, “I’m not the one who got shot with a poisoned arrow. I-I’ll be fine. How is your shoulder?” Barnes reached towards the blanket to check, but stopped himself short. Howard winced as he pulled it down for him, healing only did so much, and tilted his head slightly, giving Barnes an invitation to look. 

Barnes still hesitated, so Howard figured he’d help him out, “I can’t see it properly, did I get a cool scar?” Howard would be lying to himself if he wasn’t pleased with another tick up in Barnes’ smile. It was almost visible. His plan worked and Barnes finally leaned in, gently touching the tender skin around the scar.

“Yes, it is a cool scar.” Then his frown came back full force, and he kept his eyes on Howard’s shoulder rather than making eye contact. “I’m sorry you got hurt, Howard. I should have been keeping a better eye out.”

Howard loosely grasped Barnes wrist to catch his attention, “Hey, fuck that. It wasn’t your fault. We hit a spot of bad luck. It happens. Besides, you got me out of there. I’m still alive because of you. So. It worked out fine.”

Barnes looked like he wanted to argue more, but Howard wasn’t having any of it. He meant what he said. He knew he would have died in that hallway if it hadn’t been for Barnes. He knew he would have died multiple times over if it hadn’t been for Barnes saving his ass on almost every mission. 

Oh. 

Oh  _ shit _ .

Howard didn’t just think Barnes was hot. There… there was a lot more feeling than that, and it went a lot deeper. Howard  _ cared _ for Barnes, and a lot more than he realized. And if Howard was reading him right (which, he was pretty sure he was) Barnes  _ might _ just feel the same way. 

Maybe getting shot with a poisoned arrow wasn’t so bad after all. 

“Here, let me get up so you can rest, you don’t look like you’ve slept at all.” Howard attempted to sit up, but was overcome with a wave of dizziness, and laid back easily when Barnes gently pushed him down. 

“Stay down, Howard. You lost a lot of blood.”

“Fuckin’, I’ll say.” He was still feeling a bit dizzy even laying down, but part of that might have just been hearing his name on Barnes’ lips again, or his warm hand gently resting on his collarbone. Sure wasn’t going to stop him though, “But you need to rest too. You can’t sit in here the full seven days.” 

“As I said, I’ll be fine.” Barnes started to pull away and Howard really,  _ really _ didn’t want him to. He didn’t remember a whole lot from after he had been shot, but he remembered Barnes’ arms around him, and he remembered how much he enjoyed it.

“Share the cot with me.”

Barnes froze, there may have been a slight flush creeping up his neck, but Howard couldn’t quite tell in the low light. “... I’m not sure there is enough room.”

Howard figured it was all or nothing. This would either work or it was going to be a real fucking awkward week stuck together in this cell. He took Barnes’ hand in his own and laced their fingers together, “Please.”

Apparently Howard made the right call because that right there? That was genuine emotion on Barnes’ face. A soft smile really suited his face, and Howard just wanted to see more. 

“Okay… Okay, yeah.”

It took some awkward shuffling and swearing, and Howard may have gasped out loud more than once, which resulted in apologies, and more swearing, but they finally got settled. Barnes was on his back with his arm wrapped around Howard to keep him close. Howard was on his side (injured shoulder up) head resting on Barnes chest, their hands clasped. Howard was well on his way to falling back asleep, with Barnes’ steady heartbeat a relaxing rhythm beneath him. The last thing he felt was Barnes’ pressing a soft kiss into his hair.

A soft, “Bloody finally,” could just be heard from the other side of the bars. Howard tensed and was about to raise to the bait, when Barnes briefly let go of his hand to give Zolf a rude gesture before placing his hand back over Howard’s. Howard smiled as he relaxed back against Barnes; he had a strong feeling he was actually going to enjoy this quarantine. 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to stop by and say hi on tumblr and [twitter!](https://twitter.com/Kristsune)


End file.
